A Journal of the Plague Year

Wednesday 25th March  – 8pm As a country and as a world, we must be the cleanest we have ever been. The skin is peeling off my hands with washing and with disinfecting left right and centre. Our house (along with everyone else's) is squeaky clean. But to what end? The disintectant bottle claims that it kills 99% of germs, but this bastard is a virus. 70% alcohol kills it, but not much else. 70%. That's a very high concentration. Vodka, for example, is far too weak. There's not enough alcohol in a bottle of vodka to kill any sort of virus. It comes in at around 40%. 70% alcohol products are impossible to get. They've been panic bought. There's a bloke I know who must be about 70% alcohol. He alone, among the citizens of the land, can gaily gambol through the coronavirus wards of Britain, blowing raspberries at everyone else. The medical practitioners of Surrey have been warning him for years. My motto, however, is: "It's never too late," and I intend...

Tuesday, 24th March 2020 I suppose everyone starting a blog in the Coronavirus year (2020) will call it A Journal of the Plague Year in imitation of or hommage to Daniel Defoe's novel. And, of course, they will all have read it. Well I haven't, but I promise to do so if I survive the virus which is presently sweeping the world. Tuesday, 24th March – 10am I am puzzled by viruses. I don't really know what they are, and, especially, I know nothing about what they look like, how they behave or why. It seems to me that you need to know these things if you want to fight against them. Going the vaccination route is one way, but another, surely, is to get to know the formation, behaviour and habits of the virus. Catch it sleeping, for example, and surely it is easier to deal with. But if we show no interest in its habits, we are unlikely to be able to deal with it at all. If it turns out, as I'm sure it will, that the virus likes to take it easy in the afternoon, put its f...

Wednesday, 25 March Many people will have thought of using the Coronovirus lockdown to get seriously fit. The nation will be seized with enthusiasm and follow You Tube athletes bending and stretching in front of their TVs. This will produce a fantastically fit population, ready for anything including being super-ready for the resumption of work. Their biceps will bulge through the pin-stripe, their chests boom with healthy breathing, and their legs flex endlessly with muscles shaped and toned within an inch of their lives. Or not. If one or two will have the self-discipline to do this, that vast majority will eat far more than they ever did, either out of fear or boredom. Hiding from the corona virus will make a less healthy nation which slumps on its sofas, eats snack food and, with transfixed gaze, absorbs the upteenth Netflix boxed set. Obviously, I belong to the first group.