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Showing posts from May 2, 2020

Trudy helps you through quarantine

Saturday 2nd May 2020 – 10:30 Hello! This is Trudy helping you through the Covid-ridden day. People tell me they are experiencing difficulties during quarantine. Here are some more good ideas to keep you active and mentally healthy during these difficult times. [Aside: Was that sufficiently patronising?] 1) Look after your skin. It's amazing how doing yourself up raises your spirits. Spend some time getting your basic skincare just right. Rummage through your drawers and dig out all those nearly but not quite finished jars, tubes and bottles, those free samples, those lightly discarded Christmas gifts. Now's the time to use them all. Not only will your skin look so much better, but you will glow with delight at your cleaned-out drawers. Great all round. 2) No-one's looking so don't bother with skin care. Wash your face and that's it. You look like shit anyway. 3) Give your husband a helping hand. Get up in that loft with your hair in a towel, roll your sle...

Viral vocabulary – everything you need to know

Saturday 2nd May 2020 – 11:00am Quarantine is giving us a new vocabulary. Here's my guide to the new words and their meanings. • Furlough. Animal-lined edging to your embonpoint. Décoletage with attitude. • Covid. A video made with a friend, neighbour or colleague. • Antibodies. Australia • R-number. Short for 'our number'. Used when 'our number' is lower than that of others. As in: "R-number has gone down to 0.6. Yours is still 1.4. Mneu-mneu-mneu-mneu-mneu." • Trump. Flatulence caused by eating too much home-made bread. If you have any new words you'd like defined, please send them through using the comment panel below.