Some of Us Will Survive. Maybe.
Wednesday 15th April, 2020 – 11.35am
As we turn from the tens of thousands of corpses that litter our land, and turn away from the knowledge that it could have been avoided, and turn still further away from Trump who says we need investment in stuff and stops support for the World Health Organisation in a desperate attempt to shuffle off the blame he should be shouldering, it's time to turn towards the exciting news for the economy.
Even now, people have not caught up with this aspect of things, and God knows it's hard to focus on it while we are all busy dodging infection, getting down and agonised with Joe Wicks, and finding delivery slots in unlikely places.
What effect will Coronavirus have on our wallets, our bank accounts, and on the whole country and the world's economics? It's a multipe choice, so here we go.
A) None whatsoever, we will bounce back and within six months or a year we will be rolling in hithero unimagined wealth. The Trump prediction.
B) Well, there might be a bit of downturn but it won't last long. I fully expect our Great country to show what its made of (top quality bullshit) and pull together. It's what our Great country has done throughout the ages. Defo it won't be longer than the crash of 2008. The Johnson prediction.
C) It might be tricky for quite a while, but nobody knows for sure. Let's hope for the best and not look too closely at what might be round the corner, especially if it's ugly. The Whitehall prediction.
D) There will be widespread devastation of manufacturing and commerce of all sorts. Companies will close left, right and centre, firms will make employees redundant in massive swathes, banks will mysteriously find themselves unable to loan money to companies or individuals who are in difficulties (it's happening already), despite it being announced that the rules have changed. They will be operated as if they hadn't. The Opposition prediction.
E) The problems will be much worse than that. No-one wants to face it, but it is a growing certainty that the virus, once it hits the Third World, will pick up pace like a Hurricane hitting warm water, and sweep the globe two, three or four times mutating (we know it can) on each occasion rendering vaccines useless. This will force the economies of The First World to their knees. The Third World, already on its knees, will become little more than a bubbling green pool of deliquescent putrefaction and die in millions. Economy as we know it will collapse totally. Gold and other precious metals will be the currrency, and barter will be resurgent. Bands of youths with poor sanitary habits will roam the streets. People will be murdered for the contents of their vegetable patch. Water will be in short supply. The army, decimated (and more) by the virus, will be gasping out their last breath in barracks up and down the land. This last breath will infect the rest of the soldiery because bunks are not two metres apart. There will be no burials, corpses will be burned on public land. There will be no record of who has died. With no army the populace will be defenceless against marauding gangs. Soon war will break out. Don't be surprised. It goes with pestilence. The four horsemen, remember? Pestilence, war, famine and death. Or, as Private Fraser (from Dad's Army) would have it: "We're doomed. Doomed."
F) Some of us will somehow survive. Maybe.
As we turn from the tens of thousands of corpses that litter our land, and turn away from the knowledge that it could have been avoided, and turn still further away from Trump who says we need investment in stuff and stops support for the World Health Organisation in a desperate attempt to shuffle off the blame he should be shouldering, it's time to turn towards the exciting news for the economy.
Even now, people have not caught up with this aspect of things, and God knows it's hard to focus on it while we are all busy dodging infection, getting down and agonised with Joe Wicks, and finding delivery slots in unlikely places.
What effect will Coronavirus have on our wallets, our bank accounts, and on the whole country and the world's economics? It's a multipe choice, so here we go.
A) None whatsoever, we will bounce back and within six months or a year we will be rolling in hithero unimagined wealth. The Trump prediction.
B) Well, there might be a bit of downturn but it won't last long. I fully expect our Great country to show what its made of (top quality bullshit) and pull together. It's what our Great country has done throughout the ages. Defo it won't be longer than the crash of 2008. The Johnson prediction.
C) It might be tricky for quite a while, but nobody knows for sure. Let's hope for the best and not look too closely at what might be round the corner, especially if it's ugly. The Whitehall prediction.
D) There will be widespread devastation of manufacturing and commerce of all sorts. Companies will close left, right and centre, firms will make employees redundant in massive swathes, banks will mysteriously find themselves unable to loan money to companies or individuals who are in difficulties (it's happening already), despite it being announced that the rules have changed. They will be operated as if they hadn't. The Opposition prediction.
E) The problems will be much worse than that. No-one wants to face it, but it is a growing certainty that the virus, once it hits the Third World, will pick up pace like a Hurricane hitting warm water, and sweep the globe two, three or four times mutating (we know it can) on each occasion rendering vaccines useless. This will force the economies of The First World to their knees. The Third World, already on its knees, will become little more than a bubbling green pool of deliquescent putrefaction and die in millions. Economy as we know it will collapse totally. Gold and other precious metals will be the currrency, and barter will be resurgent. Bands of youths with poor sanitary habits will roam the streets. People will be murdered for the contents of their vegetable patch. Water will be in short supply. The army, decimated (and more) by the virus, will be gasping out their last breath in barracks up and down the land. This last breath will infect the rest of the soldiery because bunks are not two metres apart. There will be no burials, corpses will be burned on public land. There will be no record of who has died. With no army the populace will be defenceless against marauding gangs. Soon war will break out. Don't be surprised. It goes with pestilence. The four horsemen, remember? Pestilence, war, famine and death. Or, as Private Fraser (from Dad's Army) would have it: "We're doomed. Doomed."
F) Some of us will somehow survive. Maybe.
I think it will be E. Movies have already been made about that scenario. We were warned.
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